So. It's Been a Minute!
In my defense, there's been A Lot Going On at the Moment.
The last time I checked in here, I was seemingly on top of the world.
Life — the public-facing version of it at least — was finally, at long last, so good. I was in my “light at the end of the tunnel” era.
And I was.
Until I wasn’t.
I sent my last newsletter on May 23, 2025.
At that point — unbeknownst to most — I’d had a chest CT scan, an ultrasound, two biopsies, an abdominal and pelvic CT scan, a full-body bone scan, a brain MRI, and, ultimately, I had received a stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis, with cancer having spread to the bone.
It has been bleak. Grim. Scary. Overwhelming. Downright shitty.
Since then, I’ve been immediately thrust back into the world of cancer that I thought I had largely left behind in 2023. Nonstop appointments, second opinions, and a tireless fight against insurance. (In a hard-fought battle, we came out victorious in the latest round: a battle we never should’ve had to fight to get my oncologist-prescribed chemotherapy treatments deemed “Medically Necessary.”)
I got a port placed, and then went straight to Annie’s kindergarten graduation ceremony.
I started chemotherapy, and picked Annie up from school the next day.
Cancer dominates your orbit, as the rest of the world keeps spinning on.
(At the risk of being much too repetitive, I cover all of this in this total bummer podcast episode.)
It’s a tough diagnosis to sit with.
My first round of chemotherapy took me out. And now, as I’m feeling recovered and well heading into round two, I’m trying to find a balance between being so very present and basking in every second with Annie and Ellie while also trying to slowly edge my way out of the denial phase and into acceptance. (Denial is awesome. As someone who grew up believing fully in Rainbow Brite, wishing on stars and clocks, and looking for Care Bears in the clouds whenever I’d fly, I’ve always aspired to one day live in Fantasy Land. But I don’t think I can “wish I may, wish I might” my way out of this one.)
My support network is unparalleled. My people — you’re part of that — have shown up for me in ways I didn’t even know I needed. And…cancer is isolating in a very specific way.
I could muse on all of this all day. (What even is brevity??? Not in my vocabulary!) But if I were to attempt to wrap this up in a bow with some meaningful takeaway?
I’d say it’s nothing you haven’t heard before: You never know what someone is going through. (No matter how much they seem to share on the internet or elsewhere!) So be kind. Have empathy. Give grace. Be the good.
QUICK Q&A
Answered some already on Instagram @aliontherun1. Here are a few more…
If you could have one fictional character as your bestie, would would it be? And fictional lover? The word “lover” makes me uncomfortable (unless Taylor Swift is singing it). Without overthinking this one, I’m going with David and Alexis Rose from Schitt’s Creek as my besties (runners-up include Rebecca, Keeley, and Sassy from Ted Lasso, and the entire cast of Shrinking), and Jonathan Bailey as Fiyero (Wicked) as my fictional lover. (The confidence! The choreography!) Wait, or Seth Cohen. Or Sandy Cohen. Oh and Pacey Whitter. And McSteamy!
What is the best thing that happened to you this week? I went for my first post-chemo run! And that same day, enjoyed the most wonderful girls night that included a late-night group dip in the pool. Earlier in the week, four friends came over and surprised me by decorating girlifying (TM) our screened-in porch. It’s now my favorite spot in the house.
If you’re going out for ice cream, what’s your go-to order? Or do you mix it up? I’m not really known for mixing things up. I love a little predictability. I typically go one scoop mint chocolate chip and one scoop Moose Tracks. Or a Dairy Queen Blizzard with chocolate ice cream and Peanut Butter Cups.
Have you ever considered writing a book? I get this question a lot, probably because I push the limits in my Instagram captions. I’ve had a few agents reach out with interest. (I see you, Wendy!) But honestly, no. First of all, I have a terrible memory. How do people remember all that goes into a memoir?! Incredible skill set. Second, I already put so much out there, so it’s not like there’s some big thing I’d be revealing in a book, you know? The parts of my life that I’ve kept private are parts I’m keeping private for a reason. Not so I can ~reveal~ or sell them someday. And a big part of it is, who would read a book by a random woman from a tiny town in New Hampshire? I don’t think I have anything particularly unique to say. My brain immediately goes to all the people who wouldn’t buy a book by Alison Feller instead of the people who might. And if you listened to this week’s episode with Caroline Moss, and you made it to the end, you heard me vaguely mention a few Big Dreams and Big Ideas. So, not a book. But something.
What can we do to support you right now? I think I’ll have a better idea of that once I get through at least one more round of chemo. I promise to let you know. Right now, keep listening to the podcast, keep supporting the sponsors of the show, and just stick around. I love having you here.
Lately on the Ali on the Run Show:
Caroline Moss Wants to Run a Marathon, Episode 2: Did we have enough fun recording this? Hard to say. Friends forever.
Deirdre Keane, Everest Extreme Ultra Marathoner: This woman’s limits do not exist. Deirdre is an exceptional human when it comes to running, yes, but also as a person. (Case in point: After my first breast cancer diagnosis, she sent me a bouquet of flowers every single month for over a year while I underwent treatment.)
Des Linden, Western States Endurance Run Pacer: You know Des. You love Des. Des is headed to the trails!
SPONSOR SHOUT OUTS
I am so grateful for the wonderful brands and partners I get to work with on the Ali on the Run Show. Supporting them = supporting me!
UCAN: Click here to get a free UCAN sample pack (you’ll just pay the cost of shipping), and use code ALI for 20% off your next UCAN order.
Shokz: Click here and use code ALI for $10 off your next purchase.
Lagoon: Click here and use code ALI at checkout for 15% off your next Lagoon order.
New Balance: Click here to shop New Balance's latest releases for the season.
goodr: Click here and use code ALI for $5 off your next order.
Vuori: Click here for 20% off your first Vuori purchase.
Oofos: Click here to make your feet happy!
And so…
Take good care of yourselves. Take good care of each other. Be the good.
(You’ve got this. You’re doing great.)
Love,
Ali
💜
Thank you for the update, Ali. Holding you close in my heart.