The Best Weeks Ever

I fear I'm flying too high, but I'm going to keep doing it!

My Tuesday night was great.

(Every night lately has been great, TBH.)

I’d spent the day up at the Dartmouth Hitchcock Cancer Center for my every-three-weeks treatment day: labs, meeting with my medical oncologist, and my Herceptin + Perjeta infusion.

It is, no matter how efficiently things go, a very long day. It’s an hour-long drive each way (I can make it in 52 minutes…), and there’s a lot of waiting around.

On this particular Tuesday, my oncologist said we’d be doing my treatment through a subcutaneous injection instead of as an infusion.

This was good news because the infusion takes at least 90 minutes. The shot would be much faster: an 8-ish-minute injection, followed by a 30-minute monitoring period. (I tried to negotiate the observation period down to 15 minutes and promised I’d call if I experienced anything out of the ordinary later in the day; Nurse Jen wasn’t having it.)

Dartmouth Days are my least favorite, but this one was fine. I got to see many of my favorite nurses (Happy Nurse Appreciation Week and also Happy Teacher Appreciation Week and also Happy Public Service Recognition Week!), and they gave me a birthday card, which was so nice.

Then I drove home, spent some time outside with Ellie, and went to the track. (!!!)

Since stopping chemo, I’ve been feeling so much better (if a bit achy), and I’ve been back on the run, which has been wonderful.

But I’m not particularly motivated.

I get some miles in most days, but I admittedly need something more if I’m going to push myself. And I want to push myself! (Don’t get me wrong: Running never feels particularly easy, especially as I’m coming back from years of inconsistent running. But you know what I mean.) I miss doing workouts!

So on Tuesday, I joined a local group for a track workout, and it was awesome. It was warm out (finally!). There were a ton of people there (probably 50+). I knew some people, and I felt really welcomed by everyone. (I was the only first-timer that night!)

And I pushed myself!

The workout was 3 x 800 / 400 / 400 / 200, with one minute standing rest (favorite part) in between each. We did the 800s at 5K pace, the 400s “fast,” and the 200 “FAST.”

It felt so good to work hard in a group setting.

I was — like I keep saying — flying high. I was tucked into the pack, pretending I was Nikki Hiltz, and I kept expecting I’d get dropped, but I didn’t. I hung on. I felt surprisingly great. (My Hiltz kick needs some work, though.)

Except when I inevitably got into my head.

At this exact time last year, I was in a world of hurt (not the fun on-the-track kind). I was experiencing extreme chest pain that turned out to be cancer in my sternum. This time of year, which was once my favorite because I love a season in bloom, is now, dare I say, triggering.

I’m coming up on all of my anniversaries this month.

May 8: the day in 2023 when I went to the doctor to check out the two lumps I’d found, and she said, “You’re young and healthy. You’re probably fine. If the lumps are still there in six months, come back.”

May 12: the day of my ultrasound and mammogram in 2023 — which I had to advocate for after being told it was “probably nothing” — when the radiologist told me he was definitely concerned about the three lumps in my breasts.

May 15: my biopsy in 2025, when we “would be shocked if it were anything other than metastases.”

May 16: the day of my biopsy in 2023 that ultimately led to my first breast cancer diagnosis, and also, two years later, the day I received my stage IV diagnosis in 2025. May 16 sucks.

As I hustled around the track, I convinced myself I could feel something in my chest.

Cancer? (Probably not.) Blood clots, again? (I’m still on blood thinners, so I doubt it.)

Allergies? Most likely.

It’s hard not to get in my head sometimes. I used to be so unafraid of cancer and unafraid of recurrence. And while I was on chemo — and my scans repeatedly showed that it was working — I was mostly at ease.

Now, I’m on a new treatment regimen (which is a good thing!), and I am already feeling anxiety around my next scans, which aren’t until June.

So mostly, I’m still floating through life, riding the ultimate spring high, as I’ve done so many times before. From the Boston Marathon to April vacation week with Annie (we went to Rocking Horse Ranch, we hung out at Katie Couric’s podcast studio, we walked in a Runway for Recovery fashion show in New York City, and we had an “Annie Yes Day” in NYC, and it was all the best), to my 41st birthday (girls night with the moms and daughters!), and with so much more to come (Maycember, baby, put me in, coach!).

And I’m trying to just enjoy it and bask in it.

But there’s a light simmer.

There’s that ever-present part of my brain that’s forever focused on cancer, despite my best efforts to completely compartmentalize and thrive.

The Runway for Recovery show changed my life. I talk more about it in this post, and in this week’s solo episode. The women there showed me what survivorship can look like. I’ve never ever ever thought of myself as a survivor. It’s never been a word that’s particularly resonated with me. I’m not sure why. Because that’s what I’m doing, right?

Aaaaaaaanyway. A barrage of thoughts, as always. I know I’m painfully cheesy (self-awareness FTW!), but I’ve been feeling great for a month straight.

And I don’t plan to shut up about that anytime soon.

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This week on the Ali on the Run Show:

• Cousin Jackie’s 2026 Boston Marathon Recap: We recorded this The Morning After the Marathon, in bed, of course. All about Jackie’s PR in Boston, and about raising more than $20,000 for Dana-Farber in the process.

• A May Message From Ali: Historically, my solo episodes in May are to deliver some crappy news. Not this one! This “15-minute episode” (it’s not 15 minutes, but I tried!) is just a little life update about how I’m feeling in the midst of spring, which tends to be an emotionally driven time.

Watching:

• Running Point, Season 2 (for the second time). I love this Mindy Kaling-produced show (on Netflix) so much. The cast, the writing, the way everyone is so good looking. It’s one of my favorites.

Listening to:

• The Love Trapped podcast. It’s fascinating, sure, like everyone said. But mostly it’s making me sad. This is a woman who is deeply disturbed (and her parents are such enablers, my god), and I just want her to get some real help. (Maybe she does. I’m on Episode 9, and I’m listening to all the bonus episodes along the way.) It’s a captivating listen with so many twists and turns.

Sending LOVE:

• There has been an onslaught of awful news lately. I know too many people who are moving through the hardest seasons of their lives right now, with losses, with health struggles, and with other challenges. It’s a sobering reminder of the way the world keeps turning, no matter what. One person’s best day is another’s unfathomable, and vice versa. If you’re in the thick of it right now, I’m sending some extra love your way.

• And to those for whom Mother’s Day is a tough one, for any number of reasons, some extra love for you as well. (Stay off social media, and do something on Sunday that feels good for you.) [This is a hug.]

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SPONSOR SHOUT OUTS

I am so grateful for the wonderful brands and partners I get to work with on the Ali on the Run Show. Supporting them = supporting me!

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• Vuori: Click here for 20% off your first Vuori order.

And so…

Take good care of yourselves. Take good care of each other. Be the good. Have some fun.

(You’ve got this. You’re doing great.)

Love,

Ali