Day 8

I'm OK. And we'll take OK!

Hi!

How are you?!

I’m OK.

And not OK like “actually really bad but saying OK because it’s just easier.”

I’m actually OK.

“OK” right now is a huge win, and it’s one that I’m celebrating as if OK were actually “totally and completely great!”

It’s hard to be more than OK these days, if I’m being honest. There is still a big Cancer Cloud hanging over my world. Even on the sunniest days (metaphor), there’s always the Cloud.

I am optimistic this won’t always be the case. On one particularly hard day recently, Cousin Jackie texted me saying, “I believe with my entire heart it won’t always feel this way.” (I have a handful of people in my life who are so good at always saying the right thing. Cousin Jackie tops the list. I imagine I am at the bottom of this list for several people. I am very skilled at inserting my foot directly into my mouth, despite my best efforts to get it right.)

And the truth is, even on my worst days, I know I have that glimmer of hope in my heart and mind, desperately trying to convince myself that there will be days when I won’t think about cancer and chemo and what’s next, and that I’ll be able to fall asleep at night with ease (and without Ambien).

For now, I’m taking each day as it comes.

And today, post-Chemo Round 3, Day 8, I feel OK.

Day 8 last time was when things went really, really south.

Day 8 after my second round of chemotherapy was the day I recorded with Grant Fisher, soaked in sweat, barely able to see my computer screen, with very little recollection of what we talked about.

Day 8 was when Annie, my parents, and I started our “vacation” to Ocean City, NJ, and NYC. That vacation was so hard for me. In true Ali fashion, I recorded an entire episode about the experience.

The way I felt was hard to explain. I’ve since learned about “Akathisia,” and it seems like that’s exactly what I had. It was so validating to read about how intense it can feel.

I almost didn’t hit Publish on that episode. It felt, perhaps, too honest. Too dark. But I should’ve known. You’re all so nice, and the response to that episode was really beautiful. So thank you for that, truly.

I’ve been bracing myself for Day 8 this time around.

We tweaked the chemo protocol ever so slightly for round three. We lowered the dose of Enhertu a bit, and I just took one anti-nausea medication (Olanzapine) this time, instead of the four-prescription cocktail I was on last time. I am now further convinced that it was the combination of anti-nausea meds that did me in last time, and this time I feel so much better.

My brain is still foggy. I lose my train of thought at least 20 times per day. Per hour, even. It’s frustrating.

The week right after chemo is hard. I’m tired, I’m nauseous, my GI system is flip-flopping between two extremes, and I’m all-consumed by all things cancer. It’s hard not to be.

But I am so relieved that this time around does, in fact, seem to be a bit gentler, and that is a huge win. To actually be functioning? A gift!

I recorded two podcast episodes this week (Jess Movold, coming next week, and Nikki Hiltz, out now). I went for a bunch of walks, did some very light lifting (those Peloton “Arms & Light Weights” classes with 3-lb. weights are genuinely so hard for me right now), and rode my Peloton bike today for the first time in the longest time.

I’m dreaming about being more than OK, and feeling well enough to try going for a run. It’ll happen!

I went grocery shopping. I hosted Girls’ Night.

I did a lot of stuff around the house. (So did my dad. David Feller never rests.)

So I’m OK.

OK today doesn’t even compare to my “before this diagnosis” OK.

But doing OK on Day 8?

A win worth celebrating.

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This week on the Ali on the Run Show:

• Nikki Hiltz on Competing at USA Track & Field Outdoor National Championships: Team Nikki forever. What a treat to get to chat with Nikki the day before they line up to compete for a spot on Team USA at this year’s Outdoor National Championships, happening now in Eugene, OR. We kept things light and fun, and I loved hearing about Nikki’s mindset heading into this meet as the one to beat. (Spoiler: Nikki won their heat, and will advance to the Final on Saturday. And Nikki’s partner, Emma Gee, made the Final in the 3000m Steeplechase!)

Watching:

• The Summer I Turned Pretty (Prime Video): #TeamConrad. Team “Belly, go to Paris, WTF are you doing?” Team “Taylor, take the internship, WTF are you doing?” Team Jeremiah Has Become the Worst. Team Agnes (that’s her name, right? why did she call Conrad to tell him he got that job? shouldn’t the employer be calling him?) is Not Likable, Why is She Here? So yeah, I guess you could say I’m not loving Season 3, but here we are. Still watching. Still invested. Still can’t believe they said “Let’s have a main character, and let’s call her Belly, that’s cute.” (Also, if her name was Susannah, why does Laurel call her Beck?) (OK I Googled, and apparently it’s a nod to her maiden name.) Oh and ultimately, Team Why Are Belly and Jeremiah Insistent on Getting Married in August? Can’t they just like…wait? What’s the rush? And and and! Jeremiah was like, “I hate that you’re working so hard to save for our wedding” and then up and plans a bachelor party in Vegas. Meanwhile, Belly is giving up Paris and has blisters on her ankles. Those hurt!

• The Hunting Wives (Netflix): WHAT DID I JUST WATCH? I plowed through this entire season earlier this week when I wasn’t feeling so hot. I don’t want to spoil anything, but know that I am dying to talk about this wild ride.

• Annie and I watched The Parent Trap over the weekend, and oh my gosh, I swear I dreamed of this day. It’s one of my all-time favorite movies (the Lindsay Lohan version, obviously) and she was so into it (thanks in large part to one of the characters being named Annie). Six and three quarters is such a fun age!

• USA Track & Field Outdoor National Championships, of course! Relying heavily on the classic Citius graphic to know what to watch when and how.

Listening to:

• Good Hang with Amy Poehler, with guest Cole Escola: Possibly the most delightful episode of a podcast ever. I loved every second. Didn’t want it to end.

Wearing:

• This Vuori sweatshirt (very soft!)

• These Oofos slides (love a chunky slide!)

• These goodr shades (most of my favorite goodrs are very colorful, but right now I’m feeling the all-black option)

• These NB sweats (wore them on my trip to Miami — perfect plane pants!)

Reading:

• One Last Summer by Kate Spencer. It takes place in New Hampshire! (I want to have Kate on the show!)

SPONSOR SHOUT OUTS

I am so grateful for the wonderful brands and partners I get to work with on the Ali on the Run Show. Supporting them = supporting me!

• UCAN: Click here to get a free UCAN sample pack (you’ll just pay the cost of shipping), and use code ALI for 20% off your next UCAN order.

• Shokz: Click here and use code ALI for $10 off your next purchase.

• Lagoon: Click here and use code ALI at checkout for 15% off your next Lagoon order.

• New Balance: Click here to shop New Balance's latest releases for the season.

• goodr: Click here and use code ALI for $5 off your next order.

• Vuori: Click here for 20% off your first Vuori purchase.

• Oofos: Click here to make your feet happy!

• Boulderthon: Click here and use code ALI for $20 off your marathon or half marathon registration. See you in Boulder? Race day is September 28, 2025.

And so…

Take good care of yourselves. Take good care of each other. Be the good.

(You’ve got this. You’re doing great.)

Love,

Ali